She lies still in my arms,
Skin soft and clear, untouched.
Her small lips, unspeaking,
The translucent nails on the tiny fingers and toes.
So new, so fresh.
It’s a beginning and an end to the waiting.
From the bright hope of conceiving
So many dreams, so many plans, hidden wishes,
That soft smile to myself, for
the thoughts of the future, of the times together.
No fear, no darkness, no shame.
My dearest possession, my very own creation,
I could forsake all for you.
Moments of joy, then months of anguish
As I realise this unborn is not mine alone .
Every bit of poison, every stab of cruelty, every punch on my body
Took your life away slowly but steadily.
My unborn dreams, my unfulfilled wishes, I apologise.
I couldn’t protect you, I couldn’t keep you safe.
In my arms you lie, my stillborn.