“You feel you are trapped in huge, big, powerful ocean waves”
Olga is organising shelter for internally displaced families in western Ukraine. She has mobilised local support from her fellow villagers to transform the premises, formerly offices, into homes. She has been chronicling her experience of the war so far, view Olga’s Chronicles.
In this letter from Olga, sent as voice messages to Marie, she talks about what ‘walking through’ Russia’s war on Ukraine has been like for her as the co-ordinator of a shelter that she created for internally displaced women. She describes the war as feeling trapped under huge ocean waves. And yet, she also describes what she has learned about people and how the small acts of kindness and support that she has received have given her hope.
Olga then talks to Katya from Kharkiv who now lives in her shelter about what life has been like for her.
If you would like to contribute to Olga’s shelter and help her provide for the women and children – please visit the Go Fund Me link: https://gofund.me/01c566aa
23 February 2023
Olga talking from her shelter in Ivano Frankivsk, Western Ukraine
Hello once again Marie! You know what I thought – how about I talk about life in Ukraine one year on from two sides – from my internally displaced people (IDPs) and from my own point of view as the coordinator of the shelter. We have different views, different lives, different experiences. Ok so here goes.
As for me this year was like being caught in huge ocean waves that were so big and so powerful that you feel like you are trapped under those waves – and they are not sea waves, because sea waves are small, but you feel you are trapped in huge, big, powerful ocean waves. That’s what this year has felt like.
“You feel you are trapped in huge, big, powerful ocean waves”
This year was hard but, you know, but on a more positive note, I also got a lot of new skills. Now I can do much more than before. I am better at organising, managing, decision-making and doing things. I understand people more than before. But this pain I have experienced is a big pain that I share with the people in my shelter.
I find my own pain a little better now maybe because I have my – how can I put it – my new power. I’m like Iron Woman because when I need to decide something, or when I have to solve a problem in the shelter, I just do it. I have no time to think. My actions are more important than my thinking. It’s better just to do something.
“My actions are more important than my thinking”.
The worst moments of the last year – and there are many – are when you feel you have no life and nothing to look forward to but then you realise it’s not only about you because you have responsibilities. You have to think about your people who live in the shelter, and you always tried to understand what to do next, what to do generally. I was afraid the people would be cold, hungry, are they OK? And the mothers, have they got what they need? And the children, are they happy? Are they doing things they like and are we providing enough activities for them?
The worst moments of all in the shelter are when something happens to our women’s husbands, when you hear about somebody’s death.
You are always afraid when bombs are in your air. This war is like a very big craziness. It is like you are playing somebody’s game and it will never end. We know that the Russians can spoil our infrastructure and leave us without light or heat or Internet, without life.
“This war is like a very big craziness. It is like you are playing somebody’s game and it will never end”.
Many foundations and NGOs have tried to help us. But it’s always so difficult. Sometimes you need some things for the shelter right now, but you have to wait a long time for foundations to deliver those things.
But we were very happy to have you Marie and your blog this year, because you know, when NGOs help you with big things, it’s nice, it’s good, but sometimes you need help with small things, right now – spoons, blankets, food, things for children to do.
We were able to run art workshops where the kids produced fun things like redesigning the Beatles cover.
The donations we received from Covid Chronicles brought such happiness to the children as we were able to celebrate the Ukrainian new year with a festive tree.
The donations also helped us to buy a generator that provided us with heat and light during power cuts in the depths of winter.
These small things are also very important for our lives. So that’s why we will always feel this help your project has given us and the kind donations people have sent us. It’s so nice really, so, so nice and thank you so much for that.
Katya from Kharkiv
Katya has been in the shelter alongside the other 15-20 women for about seven months. She is with her son who is 12 years old, and she is in her late 40s. Olga asked her what the last year has been like for her. These are her words translated from Ukrainian:
I hate so much the Russians and I have no words to call them. I have no language to express the hatred I feel for this war and for Russians.What keeps me going is that I have met a lot of good people, people I can trust now because when the war started a lot of people tried to help.
“What keeps me going is that I have met a lot of good people, people I can trust now because when the war started a lot of people tried to help”.
The worst moments for me were living under occupation in Kharkiv when Russians put their big machine weapons on the streets between our houses. I watched from my window as the old people on that street, they were just standing there on their knees and asking God, asking the army to leave them in peace – not to fight.
Another terrible moment was when my father was beaten by Russian soldiers and also watching children crying out aloud because they were so afraid. But now my greatest hope is to go back home, this is what helps me to smile and to be alive.
“But now my greatest hope is to go back home, this is what helps me to smile and to be alive”.
Farewell and a wish from Olga
Thank you and your team, your people, your friends and your readers, Marie for your help over the last year.
“Our hope for you is just that you never, ever feel what we feel inside – that you never know this war – that you never, ever know how it is to be walking through this war – to lose your relatives in this war … and with that hope we say farewell and a very big thank you for your support, very very big thanks!
Transcribed by Marie Gillespie
If you would like to contribute to Olga’s shelter and help her provide for the women and children – please visit the Go Fund Me link here https://gofund.me/01c566aa